I am the fuckin new Grinch of Christmas
I hate everything about the fuckin business
I hate Rudolph, Santa, presents
Shit, every little thing seems to get under my skin

But wait why Jon? Why do you hate Christmas?

SANTA
REINDEER
PRESENTS
CHRISTMAS

Some of us
We might have a problem
We might have a problem with the Christmas consumerist spirit
We might have a problem with these office fucking parties
And we are done

Well Dan from accounting is a real fucking bore
Spending Christmas with his ass is a real fucking chore
Stupid office parties, dumb office games
Need three bottles of vodka just to stay fucking sane
Secret santa but I'm always getting sweaters not fitted
cause Jan from HR trades a shirt for God damn mittens

I don't want to play your office games anymore
I would rather just spend time by myself some more

Damn the best present you could give me his to get out of my face
or let beat the shit out of you till you shut your fuckin face
Tell the dude to call me Rudolph when I got a bloody nose
God damn it then I hit you in your stupid sweater ho

Coworkers singing carols cause our bosses’ name is Carol

Ugly fucking sweaters
all around the office
it means it must be Christmas
God I hate the fucking gossip
Constantly talking about our fucking bosses
Spreading like wildfire throughout the fucking office
I stole all the cookies
drank all the wine
Threw the eggnog on the spread, hope that shit stays as mine

So Slim Jemimah, what do you think about Christmas?

Man i love christmas
Dear god mrs claus be my mistress
Sweety throw me in the sack like a discus
Doin business in the white
Slangin gifts in the night
You could miss this what?

Yea where my wishlist
Dont fib bitch and say youre full christian
When its christmas
Jesus dont give a shit he was jewish
No he wasnt caucasian mass shill no
Yuh

I dont give a fuck
Jack see me in the frost
Im that young buck
Snow swallow up the sound when she succ me down
Buck naked In the courtyard the doves drown out

Why my stocking fall
Im original
Krampus in the sheets
She a bad girl yuh

I dont give a fuck where my gifts get wrapped
And my stockings get hung
Bitch its slim j im that Christmas saint you that christmas bum

I dont give a fuck where that old man at imma shoot my spum
Bitch its slim j im that christmas saint you that chritmas bum

Give it to me straight, Banana Scofield

I hate santa cause he's a fuckin lie
take a glock point it at him make a santa die
when kids grow up they learn he's fake
just like the promise of the garden snake

the prince of poles of santa are fucked
put a man in antarctica and watch him get fucked
santa watches you when your naked
slimy old man with his slaves and bacon
little elfs get whipped by his santa bullshit

santa eat my shit
everybody knows you're a made up bitch

sit on his lap at the mall on his balls
whispers lies in your ear, tells you can have it all
takes credit for what parents do
even though they're the real ones that love you


Oooo KC Masterpiece, show me what you got


Santa told me not to throw hands
But fuck this, mAh bitch thick she need some whole milk for my big dick
Saint Nick? Well fuck him he ain't above em
, That pussy dryer than the Turkey in ma oven

Who the fuck are u to call the shots?
waiting till they sleep to touch the tots
You given fuzzy socks to all the thots
AND I HAVE FUCKIN HAD IT BITCH YOU THOUGHT?

Whoa, okay, wait, is that Ms. Claus?
Red skirt, them booty cheeks and big bobs?

X, Mas rated, I may have miscalculated
Subsequently went north and consummated.
fuckin all night, in the North Pole that's like
Half a year my dick be catchin frostbite
"Ha! Don't sweat babe,
fly south on my sleigh
And take this package to my roommate?"
"I got it", a smooch and to the closet
Grabbed a red sweater and matchin bonnet
Hopped in my ride, checked my planner
Wait a second that hoe wrote in my planner
What's this? 12 hours to get home?
This bitch turned me to fuckin Santa

SANTA
REINDEER
PRESENTS
CHRISTMAS

I started this shit so I'm going to end it too
I'm going to finish this fucking Christmas track for you
To show you Must Cash Productions in full effect
Watch out for us cause we’re not coming back
Ready to wrap this rap game up
And not give it up
Swallow, spit it, and shit on your tracks
We don’t give a fuck
Christmas Christmas
That’s our start
But world domination will fill our hearts